A couple of weeks ago I picked up a copy of Hal Elrods The Miracle Morning - 6 habits that will transform your life. And I was shook. It’s an eye opening, daily practice that gets your ass in gear when it comes to moving forward in life and focusing on your dreams and goals. But that’s not what this post is about - that’s coming later. What I found was in the first couple of days, I wanted to bounce up and out of bed, I wanted to hit the ground running, work out, meditate, journal etc, I wanted to do it every.single.day. But then I missed a day, I got up late, I only managed 4/6 of the habits, the daily practice slowly started to fall to pieces and what I was telling myself I wanted to do, I was now telling myself I needed to do - and the pressure that came with that thought pattern was bloody awful.
When it comes to spending money I don’t have, the voice of Martin Lewis always pops into my head saying do you want it or do you need it. I’m stood in front of pretty skater dresses, loose leaf tea, books and face masks, and there he is, telling me I should only skip off to the checkout if my needs outweigh my wants. And silly old me figured that that mentality should apply to all areas of my life.
When I tell myself that I want to do something, I am so geared up, there’s a fire in my belly no amount of Gaviscon can reduce and I will bounce around the house like Tigger until that want is fulfilled.
If I tell myself I want to workout - I will hit the yoga mat hard and come up smiling.
If I tell myself I want to meditate - I will Ohmmmm and Ahhhmmm my way through some deep breathing and calm focus.
If I tell myself I want to eat healthier - I will chow down on a bag of spinach and chai seeds, with a smile on my face and I won't give in to the temptation of custard creams and cinnamon danishes.
But if I change want to need my palms sweat, my heart races, I suddenly hate myself for not ticking all the to-do’s off the list, because suddenly the idea of needing to do these things gives them a sense of urgency and importance.
If I tell myself I need to workout - I will feel guilty if I don’t. I will try and squeeze a workout in at stupid times or I will half ass it for 5 minutes before calling it quits.
If I tell myself I need to meditate - I need to do it, but it can wait until later. But later comes, and meditating doesn’t, and I’ll tell myself ‘oh well, that’s that missed for today, I’ve messed up my whole week by missing it this one day, let’s write off the entire week’
If I tell myself I need to eat healthier - I live off custard creams and cinnamon danish. Not a spinach leaf insight.
We all know how powerful words are, and when we go from telling ourselves we want to do something over needing to do something our whole demeanour changes. When we want to do something, we really want to do it. Whatever that want is, we thrive off the action, it feeds us mind, body and soul. Telling myself that I really want something in my life pushes me to achieve it, it gives me drive and focus. But when I tell myself I need something in my life, it feels so temporary and easily shelved.
Needing something gives me a reason to find an excuse not to do it. Wanting something means there is no stopping me until I do or get whatever it is.
So you know that thing you’ve been putting off? The workout routine, the job application, the healthier lifestyle, the change in hair colour or a conversation you’ve been avoiding - try telling yourself that you want to do or have or say it, because needing is just holding you back with nothing but excuses not to.
What’s something you should start telling yourself you want in life?
Until next time,