Monday, 18 January 2016

How to have Confidence

how to be confident

“Fake it till you make it”

Which is easier said than done. Confidence has been such a demon for me for so many years now and honestly, I’m tired of fighting it. I’m tired of faking it, of looking for new ways around it, new solutions to the confidence problem

Confidence isn’t just one thing, it’s a culmination of things. You can be confident in your job, in the task at hand and the skill's you contribute to the project, but lack any and all confidence when it comes to your body or your cooking skills. You could have fashion confidence, the ability to turn heads with your epic style choices, but fall apart when it comes to confronting the in-laws, no matter how kick ass your heels are. 

Whenever I look up confidence online, everything is about faking it, making you sound more confident than you’re feeling, how your confidence is your responsibility, how your lack of confidence is holding you back

I’m just not buying it anymore. I’ve faked it - but never felt like I’ve ever made it. 

For me, confidence hasn’t come with a fuck it all attitude. It’s come from practice. From feeling utterly terrified about something but taking a step forward anyway. Confidence has come from getting things wrong and almost giving myself food poisoning. Confidence has come from laughing at my own mistakes. It comes from dressing comfortably, accepting compliments even if I’m not quite ready to believe them and simply smiling when all I want to do is cry.

Sometimes we really don’t have the confidence to do something or go somewhere, and that is OK too. This is who we are, so why does it matter if we really lack confidence when it comes to cooking or public speaking? Sure, we can work on building our confidence in those areas, but it won’t happen overnight and faking it isn’t always a solution. A lack of confidence doesn’t make you any less of a person

I think what I’m trying to say here, is that it’s ok to not be as confident as the next person, that you don’t need to fake anything.

Just be you.


Until next time,


  1. I totally agree and what a great post, if only people would actually have this attitude it would really show that confidence is all about the person being brutally honest with themselves and when things do go tits up they don't just quite they try again. You cannot fail if you have tried again as at least you have tried instead of just leaving it on the wayside.
    *HIGH FIVE* to you - once again great post xx

  2. I wish more people would see it like that. A friend always tells me "what? there's no need to be shy, just talk" - like what? And why do we have to overcome not being confident in all parts of ours lives? Can't we be accepted even if we don't feel good about something?
    Sassy xx