Monday, 9 February 2015

The Reality of Flying The Nest

leaving home for the first time


I never moved away for university, never spent long summers abroad away from home, nothing like that, so when it came to taking the big step to fly the nest and move out of my parents home I was excited and terrified at the same time.

The months that turned into weeks that became just a few days before the big move where crazy. Lots of home shopping, getting excited over mundane things like bread bins and baking trays, picking out bedding and filling two Ikea trollies, we had so much to do before we got the keys that I never had time to let the nerves set in.

That last night in my old room in my parents house was weird. The wardrobe was empty, the majority of the furniture gone, all my belongings either packed up or thrown out, no more pictures on the walls or knick knacks on the shelves. It dawned on me there and then that that room was no longer my room and, much like when I watched that scene in Toy Story 3, I felt a huge chunk of my childhood, teenage years and early twenties being put to rest. I’d been in that room for as long as I could remember, it wasn’t just a room, it was my entire world. If those walls could talk….I’m not sure how much I’d want them to say. It was, for the first time in my life, that I physically felt a shift in who I was.

leaving your parents home for the first time


After moving in, came moving in. Sure, we unpacked the boxes, we decorated and hung pictures on the walls, we bought things and I filled new shelves with new and old knick knacks. I missed my parents, but I can honestly say I never really felt homesick. Not in the beginning. 

Cut to four months down and even though things are still great and I’m loving my life more than ever right now - it’s dawned on me that flying the nest isn’t always this Pinterest worthy picture I imagined it would be. 

Things need doing all the time.

Living at home with 4 adults meant a lot of the jobs got shared out, or things that needed doing would get done without you even realising. Cut the number of adults in half and the workload doubles. I’m the type of person who sees a job that needs doing and just does it without asking for much help. I’ve always been this way, but when you suddenly take on all the jobs that need doing in the house, you suddenly feel like there’s little time for anything else. Mr is great and will help without question but my stubborn independence often leads to me taking on too much. Things always need doing; cooking, cleaning, changing sheets, paying bills, food shopping, flipping the mattress, the list goes on, and as soon as you’re done, you start right back at the top of the list again.

I always thought that when I moved out I would do all of the things I didn’t think I could do when I lived at home. And I can, I do, but one thing I’ve realised is the reason I didn't do a lot of those things at home wasn’t because I couldn’t, or because I thought it would get in my parents way, it was simply because deep down, those where things other people did, not me. 

Finances are a pain in the ass.

Rent, bills, food shopping, going out, choosing between a really good frying pan or a new pair of shoes. All of a sudden we have all of these other financial things to consider, like do I shop around several local stores for a better deal on my weekly shop, or, do I do it all online through one retailer and have it conveniently brought to my door - even though it might be costing us more? I worried over our finances a lot when we first moved in. I was ridiculously conscious of how much everything was costing us and trying to get the best deal on everything, it drove me mad. 

I’ve never been one to worry about money, I’m actually pretty good with it, but having all these added little extras to think about sent me over the edge. I had to sit down and slap myself, as well as have a good talk with Mr before I finally calmed down over the pennies. Financially, we’re in a really good place right now, and I need to enjoy that and be thankful for that, not get myself stressed out about it - as long as we have a roof over our heads, food in the fridge and our Netflix subscription, we’re fine!

It’s okay to be homesick.

It took a long while for homesickness to really set in for me. Sure, I missed my parents, I missed my mums cooking, watching tv with my dad and putting the world to rights, hell I even missed having that brother of mine just across the hall to chat to and wind up. I missed them, but I wasn’t homesick. I love my little place, I love who I share it with and how our life is turning out, but eventually it did hit me, I suddenly realised that this was my life now, not an extended vacation. These walls, and everything in them, was my life. 

My world had gone from that one back room bedroom to this two up - two down home we had created for ourselves. 

And it freaked me out. Everything had gotten bigger; my world, my responsibilities, suddenly that spot I had back in my parents house seemed like a pretty easy lifestyle. For the first time, I actually felt kind of like a grown up. I felt myself age overnight and those pangs where not just homesickness, they were the realisation that everything has changed, and it can never be how it was.

I’m pretty sure we all have those instances in our lives, when you feel a change in the air and you can’t help but be carried along by it. Going along, moving forward is, in my opinion, always the right thing to do, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be scared. Fear is a good thing, those twitches in your stomach, the dry mouth, the racing heart, in that moment you are truly aware of who you are.

Moving out has been one of the best decisions I ever made, and I would go back and do it all over again. It’s not been easy and there’s always going to be bumps in the road, but this is my life now, and how could I not love it?

How did you feel when you finally moved out of your parents home? Let me know in the comments below!

Until next time,




6 comments:

  1. You can drive yourself mad sometimes trying to find the best deal plus lose so much time!
    I've moved out of home more times than I can remember and because we used to move house a lot I haven't had the whole leaving my childhood room thing. There is so much to do when you have your own place, I seriously don't know how anyone does it. I can just about hold down a full time job, nevermind doing anything at home! x

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    1. Its crazy isn't how much needs doing all the time?? Nothing is ever 'all done', there's always something! I don't know how people with kids keep on top of everything! I can just about look after two grown adults!

      Sarah :)

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  2. I guess moving to uni made it a little easier with the last night in the empty room thing! I just took a few things and slowly emptied all my belongings out over the years!

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

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    1. I've still got some stuff left in my parents loft because I just don't have the storage space here for it, but I pretty much had to take everything I wanted with me in one go! It was brutal!

      Sarah :)

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  3. I can't really remember moving out to uni. It was the last time I properly lived at home. It's such a big step and you're back to being a small fish in a big pond, but once you start to understand how to do things on you're own, you feel so proud. lol

    x

    www.justadd-ginger.co.uk

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    1. I always though I was pretty well house trained but theres so much more to it and I'm loving it. Scary and frustrating at times but still fun :)

      Sarah :)

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